This is an article Annie wrote for Life Books, that we understand parts of this have been used and is available in print (we don't have the book information yet).

How It All Began

by Annie Kirkwood

In 1986 I found myself at a low point in my life. I'd married the year before and thought this would be all that I needed to be happy, content, and set for life, especially since I'd found a wonderful mate. At the time, I was suffering from an undiagnosed case of agoraphobia with severe panic attacks and depression. A friend of mine gave me a series of books written by Ruth Montgomery. In these books I read about a future that consisted of dire predictions and forecast. I began to pray with all my heart and soul asking God to let me know if this was the truth. Ruth Montgomery contended that the information was received from her spirit guides. I had never heard of spirit guides, didn't know if this was truth, or even possible. So I prayed for answers, as I had been taught to pray as a Methodist and later in Southern Baptist churches. I asked God for His truth, not mankind's truth. As an example of what I mean about God's truth, I remembered that about six hundred years ago everyone believed the world was flat. Churches, governments and other institutions believed the world to be flat. People were ridiculed for not believing it. But God saw our beautiful globe as it revolved in its orbit and knew the truth. So I said to God, "If there is a belief on earth today like the belief that the world was flat and it wasn't, tell me Your Truth. Let me know what is really, really, the real, real Truth and what You see and know now."

One day I was in a bookstore looking for more information. I was praying that God would guide me to the place I could receive this information, whether it was a church, books, or a person. As I browsed the store, a book fell off the shelf I replaced it on the shelf and continued to look. As I walked around looking at titles another book fell off the shelf, once again I picked the book up and replaced it on the shelf. My friend Marty had driven me to the bookstore and was in a hurry to leave. I wanted to look around the store one last time, and again a book fell off the shelf. At this point the clerk, who had been watching, said to me, "I think that book is trying to get your attention." It was the same book that had been falling off the shelf. I couldn't believe this had happened to me, I'd read about this happening to others. I bought the book and stayed awake most of the night, reading the book which was The God-Mind Connection by Jean K. Foster.

It too was a book of information given to Jean by spirit guides. Towards the back of this book, the guides, who call themselves The Brotherhood of God, and identify themselves as an outreach of the Holy Spirit gave vague instructions on how to contact them and receive messages. In the meantime my prayer to God was, "Please let me contact my highest possible guides." I followed the instructions and was soon receiving beautiful and comforting messages. Never once were these messages anything but good. They taught me that God loves, and that I should take my concerns to Him. They answered my questions and encouraged me to pray to our Creator and to have faith in His ability to heal me. They used the Bible to teach and gave me a new perspective to the things I had learned through my religion.

After several months of receiving daily messages from The Brotherhood of God, I began to feel a presence in my house. I describe it as the same way you feel when you are in one part of your house and another family member is in a different room. It's that kind of feeling as opposed to the feeling of being completely alone in your house. It felt like a real, live, breathing human being was in my house. Being as afraid as I was, I called my husband at work. Because I was afraid to go outside and afraid to stay in the house, I wanted him to come home. Using a portable phone he had me go through the house, opening closet doors. He knew no one could get in because I had extra locks on the windows and bolt locks on the doors.

A few days later I felt the presence again and smelled the overwhelming aroma of something very sweet. I thought something had spilled and searched the house for what had been spilled. It wasn't until my friend Marty came over for coffee one morning, that I found out the sweet smell was the smell of roses and an indication that Mary was present. A few days after Marty explained this to me I began to hear my name being called. I thought it was a voice outside of me, but now I know that no one else can hear it. I used to say I heard it in my mind, but it's more than my mind, I hear Her voice throughout my whole being. I asked who was calling me, and She responded with "Mary, Mother of Jesus." My first reaction was, "You've got to be kidding!" I didn't believe it. But the voice persisted and Mary kept coming to me every morning in the same way, with a strong sense of Her presence and the smell of roses, before I heard Her voice.

I began right away to tell Mary that She had made a mistake, that I wasn't Catholic. I said, "Are you sure you have the right person, I'm not Catholic. I think you have me confused with Marty, she's the Catholic." Daily I would say, "I'm not Catholic, I think you really want Marty." One day Mary responded, "Nor am I," when was I was telling Her that I wasn't Catholic. I was flabbergasted and completely shocked. I didn't remember that Mary was Jewish until I was telling Marty about the experience. Marty pointed out to me that the Holy Family was Jewish, not Catholic.

When Mary kept coming in the same way I finally asked Her what She wanted with me. She said She had a message to send to the world and She wanted to send it through me. I was terrified and told Her that now I knew She had made a huge mistake. I couldn't do that. I didn't know how, no one would believe me, and I didn't worship Her like I thought my Catholic friends and family did.

I've always been very honest with Mary about my feelings and thoughts. I figured that She could read my mind, or hear my thoughts anyway, so it was silly for me to hide them. She convinced me that She had chosen me for this task. I agreed to take the message down. Throughout this whole experience I continued to pray even more fervently than before. My prayer was that if this was God's Truth, He would allow it to continue, and if it wasn't according to His Truth and Will, He would stop it.

It took over two years to receive the message that became the book, Mary's Message to the World. It was given in daily lessons. For the longest time I thought She was preparing me to receive the real message. Mother Mary urged me to pray daily, and for a while I was praying up to five hours a day. She asked me to live the message, doing it to my best ability. She said that in order to be prepared for any eventuality in the future that we need to learn to love ourselves. She urges us all to cleanse our hearts of anger and fear.

I searched for a way to do just rid myself of my phobias. I begged Her to heal me. The Blessed Mother told me that I had to do it as best I could. Then I would be able to encourage others to rid their hearts of fear and anger. My basic, core fears, were a result of childhood sexual abuse. My saving grace was that my father wasn't one of my abusers. But there were other family members who abused me for several years during my early childhood. I did everything I could to be healed of the terrible fears and the raging anger. I've been through many healing modalities including psychotherapy. It hasn't been easy to go through the healing process. Nor was it easy to forgive the men who abused me. With Mary's love and encouragement I've been able to overcome my fear of being out of my home. Today I travel throughout the USA and have been to other countries to lecture and give workshops on the things I've learned as I've followed Mother Mary's direction.

The book, Mary's Message to the World is a best seller and in twelve languages. It truly is reaching the world. It contains one chapter on predictions. The Blessed Mother gave definite predictions and dates. Since 1995 it looks like some of the predictions haven't come true. In May of 1996, in Her message for the June/July newsletter that we publish to distribute Her messages, She said we are in a ten year grace period and could extent it to fifteen years. The Blessed Mother said that Her very motivation for giving the predictions and the dates was for us to know that we have a short period of time. It was given so that we would return to God, pray more, and cleanse our hearts of lingering fear and unresolved anger. I begged Her not to include this chapter, or perhaps allow us to place it in the back of the book as an addendum. But Mary said no. The chapters of the book were named by Mary and are in the order She gave.

Mary is my Spirit Mother, She's not God, but She is the Mother many of us have wanted in our lives. That's why I call Her Mother Mary. What this all means to me is a life filled with love, peace of mind, and a healing that has allowed me to forgive myself and my abusers. I don't consider myself a visionary, although I do see Her at least once a year. I'm Mary's messenger. Each time I've thought I was through with this work, Mother Mary gives me a new assignment. I'm now assigned to encourage people to live Her message and to live their belief. To return to God in their hearts and seek inner peace. She asked me to share the story of my healing and to encourage people to heal their hearts and their family ills. It means that I'm busier, happier, and more at peace than I've ever been in my life. My husband totally supports me, as do our children. We have had nothing but blessings since this all began. When we thought we'd lost something, another blessing made us realize that we had in reality lost nothing. My life is totally changed and I am truly blessed.

Mary's message is one of love and peace. She said that peace will come to the world as individual people find inner peace. She is concerned with family and with the wars that are waged in families. We were asked to gather our children together for prayer and meditation. We did and found that our blended family united in love and spirit. Our children and grandchildren pray and are closer to God because of my communications with Mary. We are a very normal family, with the problems that many families face today. Our marriage which was good, has gotten better. As a family we love each other unconditionally and because we do...we find it easier to love our fellow man.

Mother Mary said She is appearing in the world today as God's agent. She told me that mankind has forgotten that God is spirit and therefore whole. He is everything we know and everything we don't know. She said as God's agent, She is reminding us that God is not only masculine, but is also all that we consider feminine. He is loving, nurturing, gentle, caring, all the things we think of as feminine, and He is also strong, steadfast, and all the things we think of as masculine.

In the beginning I was afraid of people who would be skeptical. I asked Her how I was to respond to the people who didn't believe me. She said for me not to concern myself with skeptics. She said She could personally come down and a true skeptic wouldn't believe Her. That I was to be keep my connection to God strong through prayer and meditation, continue to cleanse my heart of unresolved anger and lingering fear, and that I was to share my story and experience. So I present this as my experience. It not only has made a great impact on me and my family, but from the mail I receive from around the world, it is making a great impact in many people's lives.

When asked what I expect Christians to do, I don't know quite know how to answer. I would hope that Christians would strengthen their inner connection to God. But also that they would really hear The Blessed Mother's call for prayer, and for us to heal our inner life so that we can live in peace today.

I'm an ordinary housewife who has been and continues to be blessed by this extraordinary experience. I don't feel I deserve it anymore than the next person, for that reason I'm very grateful. The communications continue today, and because they do, my life is full, my world is wonderful, and my inner self is at peace.

Annie Kirkwood